Marriage is a broad topic. The word itself has emotions tied to it like few other words. In a perfect world, every marriage would have the right soil. The seeds planted would be healthy seeds, and every marriage would end only after years of respect and love for each other as each passed on to the next world. In our perfect world the husband would be the spiritual guide and reference for the home, loving the wife beyond his own life. The wife would feel that love so deep that she would gladly abide with him, giving of her gifts to create a beautiful atmosphere of love and forgiveness, so that they become one in body and spirit.
2 Timothy 3:2
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
Well, this is not a perfect world. Men are lovers of self and live for their own pleasure. Women work against the husband so they can get what they want. Manipulation abounds as each one struggles to live out their own goals, while the children are caught somewhere in the middle, having to choose which parent gives them the most attention, time and benefits. Then, at some point, marriage usually comes to an end; whether in actual divorce or just in their minds. Guilt is then the emotion that is left over and keeps coming back over and over, sometimes when it’s least expected. Tears are shed over the past relationship and all the failures and remorse over a love long gone.
John 2:1
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”
The very first miracle of Jesus was at Cana where a wedding feast was going on. Mary, mother of Jesus, came to Him and told Him the wine was out and that they needed more. Jesus said “dear women, why do you involve me, my time is not yet come” but, as mothers have a way of doing, she motivated her Son to act. She told the workers “do whatever He tells you to do”, so Jesus asked them to gather some stone water jars. These were not just any jars they were jars “set apart” for Jewish ceremonial cleansing. Jesus had the workers fill them with water, then He said pour some for the master of the banquet. The master of the banquet told the bridegroom, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till last.”
The wine process (I am no expert, but i have a friend who is) sometimes can take months. It involves numerous factors: the type of grapes used, amount of sugar, when to add water, storage temperature, etc. After the first couple of weeks you have to filter the grape skins off, then as time progresses you have to filter out the sediment. During all this the CO2 (carbon dioxide) gas has to be released to keep the process going. Some wines can take years to produce, it is all up to the experts and the tasters.
It is amazing that Jesus blessed a wedding with the first of many miracles that He performed. The next thing that is amazing was the type of miracle. He turned water into wine. I think the analogy and symbol-isms for marriage are too great to be ignored.
* The jars that Jesus used had been consecrated and set apart. – The bride and the groom are consecrated and set apart for each other in the marriage covenant.
* Grapes have to shed their skin and give up their seed to make wine. – We have to give of our most intimate self in the process of marriage.
* Jesus told the workers to fill the jars with water. – The jars were solid, the ingredients in wine become liquid. The marriage itself should be understood as solid. The relationship inside the marriage should be liquid, and able to breathe. Wine has to breathe as it lets off the carbon dioxide. This fermentation process goes through several stages and takes a very long time. The relationship in a marriage should have room to breathe as life changes. Also settlement needs to be filtered out to keep the relationship fresh.
* The master of the banquet said the best wine was saved for last. – The first years of marriage are the hardest, then, with age and maturity, the marriage overcomes a lot of hurdles. It is in this process that both parties have to resolve not to give up, but work through the tough times and enjoy the good times. There has to be forgiveness every day for things said and unsaid. With fermentation, the wine is sweeter and the bitterness is removed. Time is a great healer. The best years are when you can enjoy the fruit of your marriage.
Society teaches that men should sit on the couch while the woman cooks and cleans dishes. I believe the couple should work out the details of their own daily life and not what society says it should be. We all bring different gifts and talents into the marriage. There is always something neither person wants to do. I believe every marriage relationship is a thumb print, each one unique.
Work out what is best for your marriage. It is no one else’s business who cooks, cleans, or keeps the checkbook. How it was done in the parents generation was for their time, not necessarily yours. God has laid out His design for marriage so that our lives can be enhanced and we can experience true love on this earth. True love is not lust, not euphoria, and not one-sided. It is to be shared. It is a Godly everlasting love, the type of love that Christ has for His followers.
1 John 4:7
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
As with other topics, I struggle with what to say about our real world. About half of marriages end in divorce. We see domestic violence in the news everyday and we have become numb to what marriage should be. Abuse of any kind should never be accepted or allowed in any relationship and the context of marriage is no exception. If I were the adversary of this world and I wanted it to fail, marriage would be my front-line of attack. Marriage is the keystone that effects every part of society. If marriage fails, it does not just effect the couple. It is the ground zero that creates an aftermath that pushes outward causing hurts, rejection and hate anywhere it touches. The effects are so long-lasting if someone does not resolve an ending, it will repeat itself in future generations.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
When wine is in the process of fermentation and is attended and cared for, it will turn out sweet and will usually be sold at a higher price. If it is left unattended and not cared for, then it will become bitter and is fit only to be poured out. The qualities that are displayed by two people in a loving healthy marriage: forgiveness, love, a willingness to forget past failures, become the opposite qualities of a bad marriage or divorce: bitterness, unforgiveness and hate. God’s design and principles for marriage, when kept, can add wisdom and great blessings to our lives. If they are not kept and are violated, it can cause, deep emotional wounds. The way we respect and perceive our marriage will not only effect our lives, but will effect everyone around us. The best wines will last for generations.
The true miracle at Cana was not just the water turned to wine, but also the blessing of the celebration and covenant relationship of two distinct individuals, fermenting together as one.