As We Forgive Ourselves

In the movie “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” there is a dialogue about the devil.

Pete: I’ve always wondered, what’s the devil look like?

Everett:  Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.

Tommy: Oh, no. No, sir. He’s white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That’s right.

The three main characters in the movie escaped from jail and are being pursued by a man that fits the description that Tommy gave. They recognize him as the law but not the devil. Then toward the end of the movie the man bearing this description admits he is not the law.

2 Corinthians 11:14

And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.

The adversary, along with Hollywood, would have us believe that the faces of evil are hideous, dark red faces with horns. When in reality, evil is anything that has the propensity to separate us from God. Satan’s main goal is to get us to reject the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God’s Spirit that convicts our heart of sin and draws us to Jesus Christ. So, if the adversary can trick us into feeling we have reached a point that we cannot be forgiven, or, if he can just numb us to where we feel nothing, he has met his goal. Being human, we have the capacity to make mistakes, wrong choices and commit sin. Satan’s goal is to get us so filled up with regret and guilt by our “own” choices that we cannot forgive ourselves; much less ask a Holy God for forgiveness.

2 Corinthians 12:7

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Jesus and His disciples were in the upper room, hours before Jesus would be tried, punished and crucified. Jesus was preparing His disciples for what was to come. In their dialogue it is reveled that He knew Judas would betray Him and that Simon Peter would deny Him three times before sunrise. Knowing what was to follow and how each disciple would react, Jesus did nothing except show them genuine Godly love. He broke the bread and poured the wine showing a renewed covenant relationship with all of them. Then, after the meal, he wrapped a towel around His waist and started washing their feet.

“Man has received two great spiritual needs. One is for forgiveness. The other is for goodness”. Billy Graham

From the time when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, life is made up of choices. We all can look back on how we should have made better choices, or how we made a few right choices by mistake. Billy Graham, at age 92, reflected on this in an interview question with Greta Van Susteren. When she asked “If you had the opportunity to live your life over again, what would you change”? Graham stated “I would study more. I would pray more, travel less and take less speaking engagements”. This should be an example that no matter who we are, each person that has lived on this earth looks back and would like to change something.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

Hebrews Chapter 11 is known as the “Faith Hall of Fame.” Each person mentioned by name is considered to have accomplished great works of faith, so their deeds are written down for eternity as an example to us all. Yet, with few exceptions, the people mentioned there either lied, killed someone, got drunk, was a prostitute, rebelled against God, committed adultery, stole, swindled, I could keep going…… The point I want to make in this writing, and shout out with my entire being, is this: No matter what you have done in the past, no matter how you feel you have disappointed God, your family, or yourself, God’s grace and love is greater! He has a greater purpose for your life.

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us, oh,

Oh, how He loves us,

How He loves us so

“How He Loves” John Mark McMillan

The layers of not forgiving ourselves deal with not accepting God’s grace, not forgiving others and getting in a cycle of regret; if only I had not done this or said that. We have been programmed by traditions, denominations and churches that the Bible is all about rules and we have to follow those rules to perfection, or we will not be fit for the Kingdom. The truth is that none of us are perfect or fit for the kingdom. We all have “stuff” in our lives.  That is why Jesus Christ came and died for our sins. When He died it was for ALL our sins and imperfections, not just the pretty ones.  It was for our guilt, our shame and our regrets.  It was for everything we have ever done. He died once, for all our sins.

Ephesians 6:10

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

If we are to come to the path of forgiving ourselves, we have to understand that God’s love and grace is continual. His mercy endures forever. Satan whispers in our ear, “you are not good enough, you have failed, you cannot be forgiven, you should not act like you are a Christian, you do not measure up”. If we accept this thought, we will began to slowly reject the Holy Spirit’s call of repentance and the drawing to Jesus Christ. We may withdraw and feel isolated, then turn inward to things like alcohol, different types of drugs, relationships and other “things” so we don’t have to face ourselves. We can commit a type of mental suicide by making our mind so busy or sluggish that we do not have to think about our past choices or failures. We feel rejected, so we think everyone else feels that same way toward us.

Luke 22:31

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

The disciples sat at the feet of Jesus. They had seen His miracles and His transforming power; yet, in their last few moments together before His death, Jesus took time to remind them of His grace and love them through communion and washing their feet. Like the “Faith Hall of Fame,” we now call these men apostles and have built cathedrals in their names and given them sainthood. Jesus knew them as men with “dirty feet”. God uses our weakness more than our strengths to accomplish His will in this earth. There were two distinct outcomes between Judas and Simon Peter. Judas hung himself. He listened to the voice that told him he had failed and could never be forgiven. Simon Peter listened to the words of Jesus, and understood his greater purpose. Peter continued in the faith and strengthened the church when five weeks later he came down from the upper room filled with the Holy Spirit, then began preaching the Gospel to the world.

1 John 1:8

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

As we forgive ourselves, we have to understand that God’s forgiveness comes to us like a hurricane. We have to see Satan for who he is, not red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, but that nagging voice that comes to us in our dark hours and says we have failed and cannot be forgiven. When we see through God’s eyes we will see that Satan isolates with rejection, hatred and bitter feelings, while God brings together through grace, love and forgiveness.

Leave a Reply