In the movie “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” there is a dialogue that takes place after Delmar and Pete get baptized. Pete thinks because they had made it right with the Lord, all of their other wrong doings were resolved and they are now free men.
Pete: “The preacher said it absolved us.”
Everett: “For him, not for the law. I’m surprised at you, Pete. I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.”
Delmar: “But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.”
Everett: “That’s not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the state of Mississippi’s a little more hard-nosed.”
Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
When we step up to the crossroads between forgiveness or un-forgiveness, we usually choose un-forgiveness. We feel that if we forgive, then we are somehow justifying the wrong of that person and that they will be pardoned by God or the law. Another problem as we look down the path of forgiveness is the layers; keeping our rights to hold onto our anger, wondering what others will think of us if we forgive, dealing with our emotions, trying to understand the how and why. Even though we are older and hopefully more mature, we still tend to look at the offense the same way we did when it happened.
Matthew 5:44
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.
The major idea that separates Jesus Christ’s teaching from any other man-made religion or ideology is His teaching about loving our enemy. There are people in everyone’s life that are unlovable. It’s easy to love our friends, but when it comes to enemies, we may say it, but do we really put it into practice? Let’s face it, loving our enemies (or those who have wronged us), takes more than we as humans can do, but, if we are to truly follow Jesus Christ, forgiveness is a path we must walk.
John 11:32
When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
I think the story in John 11 about Jesus’ friend, Lazarus, being raised from the dead, talks more about forgiveness than we realize. Jesus was away and His friend, Lazarus, became sick. Upon hearing the news of Lazarus’ sickness Jesus did nothing, then stayed away two more days. By the time He reached Bethany, Lazarus had died. Both Mary and Martha, Lazarus’ sisters firmly told Jesus that if He had arrived sooner their brother would still be alive. Jesus proceeded to the tomb, and asked them to remove the stone where Lazarus was buried. Martha told Jesus that by then the body stank. Jesus then said “Lazarus, come forth”! Lazarus came out of the grave wrapped in grave clothes. Jesus said “loose him, let Him go.”
Ephesians 4:31
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.
Ultimately all our anger and bitterness in this life, (if we are honest with ourselves), can be traced to our relationship with God. Like the statement of Martha and Mary, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died,” the enemy that hurt us would not have had power over us if Jesus had been there. Where was God when we needed Him? He could have stopped the enemy. He could have stopped the accident. If He is all powerful, He should have been there. Martha and Mary’s concern is also our concern. This could have all been avoided if only God had been there.
So, after time passes with no resolution, in order to deal with the pain, we bury it. Just like Lazarus we wrap it up in grave clothes and seal the door. Then the holidays or other occasions come and somehow the topic keeps rising to the surface. We hide our pain, sometimes through laughter or sometimes through tears. The more we rehearse it, the more it hurts (stinks), then a barrier comes between us and God. It becomes harder to pray. We know we need to forgive We are afraid to tell God our true feelings.
Matthew 5:41
If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
In the times of Jesus, the Romans occupied Judea. A Roman solider could ask a young man over 13 years of age to carry his back pack and armor. The young man was required to carry the pack one mile. Jesus, as usual, added the hard lesson and taught us to go the second mile. The first mile was required, the second mile became an investment. The first mile was walking with an enemy, the second was making a friend.
It is not everyday that we come to the crossroads of forgiveness. We may pass it many times before we stop to ponder it’s path. Somehow we need to get to the point where we can think about taking a step. Praying for God’s help is the first place to start. We have to understand that we bury those we hate and that only God can resurrect the dead. We, in our human strength, are powerless to forgive. We have to depend on His Spirit and the direction of His Word. If we are to walk the path to forgiveness, we have to invest in our enemy. We have to walk the second mile. We can invest a short prayer, then possibly a small, good deed. We have to “loose him, let him go”! We have to take hold of the grave clothes and pull, one piece at a time. Like medicine, it may taste bad at first, but its good for you. You will find out after you start the process that it is helping you and your well-being.
I realize this is a difficult. I have had to learn and experience more about this subject than I really wanted to know. There are a lot of difficult topics that exist to cause a person to have to forgive. Each situation is personal and there is no cookie cutter idea that will cover it all. Forgiveness is a personal journey. The purpose of this writing is to say: just consider taking that path. It will help you. When we forgive, we are only forgiving in our hearts. We do not have to allow that person access to our lives or become best friends. We are not pardoning the offense or over-riding justice. We can let the state of Mississippi or whoever deal with that part. We are just allowing the wound in our heart to heal so that we, too, can be forgiven.
Matthew 6:12
Forgive us as we forgive others.